Making Positive changes
The process of change is not straightforward or simple. Oftentimes we have behaviour or habits which we understand are not helpful or nurturing for us and yet we choose not to change them. Why is this, and how can we begin to make positive changes?
Having worked in addiction services for over 22 years I saw a lot of people take decisions that resulted in their own self destruction, through alcohol, illegal substances and the inevitable lifestyle and risks that go along with this. I also saw a few people step away for this behaviour and make positive changes, some of these people, years later, are still in ‘recovery’ and leading fulfilled and happy lives.
Whilst not all of our addictions may be seen as serious as alcohol or drugs, let’s stop for a moment and really consider what we do on a daily basis that we feel we couldn’t do without. The very typical addictions in society right now are caffeine, sugar, processed foods, internet. social media, TV. Take a look at the list and see how many of these apply to you, now consider going without them, how does it feel?
Addiction typically fulfils an unmet emotional need within us. Whatever our choice of substance or behaviour, it makes us feel good, at least initially. Let’s take caffeine as an example. Caffeine at its best can help us to feel alert, clear headed and focused. In excess it can cause shakes, heart palpitations, sweating and adrenal fatigue. It has an adverse effect. Used regularly (even one cup a day can have a huge impact) we become accustomed to how it makes us feel and we then find that we can’t function as we would like to without it. We get withdrawal symptoms. We don’t like the discomfort from the withdrawal so we keep having it. Sugar operates in much the same way, these are clear examples of everyday accepted addictions. These addictions are largely driven by large corporations seeking to make money from your vulnerabilities and using clever marketing strategies to constantly draw you in. We are constantly chasing the good feelings and seeking to avoid discomfort. Newsflash, life involves both good and not so good stuff, we need to learn to go with whatever comes each and every day.
What is it that you are looking for in whatever it is that you’re doing? What feelings are you chasing and longing for? Does whatever you’re doing have happy memories attached to it, or does it make you feel comforted and nurtured somehow? Do you feel that you’re lacking something and that this gives it to you, or are doing it to fit in and be like everyone else?
Looking deep inside ourselves for these answers isn’t easy, that’s why the majority keep doing whatever they’re doing. This is why people eat an unhealthy diet that will literally kill them, but they would rather do that than look inside themselves and change their behaviour.
Change is tough, it’s hard work and there’s a lot of soul searching and tough questions and answers required. In addition you need to be aware of old habits and routines which may trigger you to return to your old behaviours. You need to get right into the nitty gritty with yourself so you understand completely the tricks your mind can play and you learn to override all of these tendencies. You need to find your own free will, to not care about what anyone else thinks, and most importantly of all you need to learn to love yourself unconditionally.
Addiction to anything is insidious, tricky, not straightforward and not discussed openly. The good news is that it is possible to gain control, to learn about yourself, to overcome these habits to to make clear and beneficial choices for yourself so you are no longer beholden to your subconscious cravings.
These days I no longer work in mainstream addiction services, but I do offer support with behaviour change, using the tools of ayurveda and yoga therapy. Connect with me to find out more.