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The four laws and moving on

I am in the habit of keeping random notes on my phone. Today I found this (I have no recollection where it came from). In India, we teach the ‘Four laws of spirituality’

  • The first law says, ‘The person who is coming is the right person.’ This means, no one arrives in our lives by chance, all the people around us, who interact with us, are here for something , to make us learn and move forward on every situation.
  • The second law says, ‘What happens is the only thing that could have happened’. Nothing, but nothing, absolutely nothing that happens to us in our lives could have been otherwise. Not even the most insignificant detail. There is no ‘if I had done such a thing would have passed such a other…’. No. What happened was the only thing that could have happened, and it must have been like this so that we learn this lesson and continue. All and each of the situations that happen to us in our lives are perfect, even if our mind and ego resist and do not want to accept it.
  • The third law says, ‘At any time that begins, it’s the right time’. Everything starts at the moment indicated, neither before, nor after. When we are ready for something new to start in our lives, this is where it will begin.
  • The fourth and last law says, “When something ends, it ends”. Simply like that. If something has ended in our lives, it is for our evolution, so it is better to leave it, move forward and move forward already enriched with this experience.

I think it’s not casual that you read this, if this text has arrived in our lives today; it’s because we are ready to understand that ‘no drop of rain never falls in the wrong place’.

Sometimes when circumstances are challenging in our lives it can be almost impossible to adopt the attitude that these ‘laws’ suggest. In spite of knowing inherently that everything is for a reason, that we learn and grow and gain wisdom from our experiences, whatever they maybe, it can be difficult to remain somewhat philosophical whilst in the eye of the storm. We may know that this person or experience is teaching us an incredible amount, that it is meant to be in some way (although its not always obvious at the time how or why), that the timing of everything is perfect, that when something ends we need to be able to let go and move on, but it is not so easy to consistently put this into practice. 

Things that have helped me to let go, to move on, to see the wisdom which I have learned from the experiences in my life, have been hard work but are, after some considerable effort and focus as well as inner struggle, well worth practicing. Here they are… 

  • Yoga Yoga Yoga! Being in the body and focusing on the body and breath when the mind and emotions are just too much to bear. Easing out physical tension from held emotions and using the breath gives a sense of composed calm, at least for a while.
  • Ayurveda. Looking after myself with this ancient art. Using massage, diet and herbs to stay in balance physically and emotionally. I have the ability using Ayurveda to notice when I am getting uptight and stressed and can use this to address these challenges and to keep myself fit and healthy. (This takes constant focus and I do have off days!)
  • Meditation. Beginning to gently notice what the thought patterns are in the mind and to be able to then notice what is troubling me, to be able to address these things independently and to then begin to be able to move on. To learn to not always get involved with the mind and its propaganda, (still not always possible!). With continued meditation practice, to begin to use this as a space for peace and contemplation.
  • Gratitude. Being grateful for every single day that I wake up healthy, with good friends in my life, able to eat healthy food, move my body, walk in nature, appreciate being vibrantly alive. Grateful for the hug of a friend, for a smile form a stranger and even grateful eventually for the difficult times because they have taught me so much. (The last one took a while and even now its a bit tricky at times!)
  • Forgiveness. Being able to forgive those who’ve caused me anxiety, caused me to be filled with sadness and even anger. This is probably the most difficult practice of all. Being able to see things from the other persons viewpoint is one thing, being able to empathise to some degree is also possible, being able to truly forgive from the heart is more of a complex process. I don’t hold grudges, but when you truly begin to look at forgiveness and all the layers it is so much more that just saying ‘its ok.’ However, I have found that being on this path really is helpful for the person wanting to forgive in terms of holding onto anger and being able to soften emotionally in order to move on.
  • Compassion. For oneself and for others. True recognition that all beings wish for health, happiness, peace and freedom from suffering. Sometimes how someone goes about trying to achieve this may be, in our view, somewhat misguided, however we still see that this is their ultimate aim as a sentient being. Then we work to apply this to ourselves,which can be even more perplexing. Sometimes we feel that to show ourselves kindness, to be compassionate to ourselves, can be self indulgent and unnecessary. If we cannot love ourselves then how can we even begin to love one another? 

Take time for yourself, be gentle and kind. Walk in nature, eat good food that your body will love, move your body keep it as well as possible, notice what your mind does and be gentle with that too. Breathe and begin to let go of self criticism, of blame, of fear and of doubt. Then you will begin to notice that beneath all of that, there is a well of infinite potential in each and every one of us just waiting to be discovered. 

‘There comes a moment in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and the people who believe it, you will get way more from people who make you laugh. You forget the sadness and badness and you focus on the right one. You love people who treat you well and you pray for those who don’t. Life is too short to be anything other than happy.Falling is part of life, getting up again, it’s living’.