Being fully human
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Being fully human

Life had given me experiences (extreme experiences!) that mean I have to embrace self acceptance and to speak what I feel, or risk regret, which is not an option. Its not easy to do this, but I make myself do it everyday because it now the only way I feel I can now be. Is this  a gift or a curse? I really don’t know.

Rewriting Grief
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Rewriting Grief

On 17/7/17 my partner of 17 years died. I was lying by his side as he took his last breath. It was not entirely unexpected but it was tumultuous, as was he. He was a complex person, full to the brim of life, love, laughter, so many thoughts and words, and yet always with a darkness and haunted sadness behind his blue eyes.

The Orange Jumper
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The Orange Jumper

Its all about perspective. Optimist I am, I am also human. I do have days where I don’t feel so great, but  most of the time I know what I need to do to feel ‘better’. Isn’t that the case with most of us? We know what we need to do to feel good, but we feel almost guilty for doing it.

Out into the world!
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Out into the world!

At the end of June this year I left the NHS. I had worked there since the age of 18, (I am now 46) when I started my general nurse training. I never subscribed to the pension, I didn’t intend staying…I stayed for longer than I intended but l did leave for a few years here and there in several futile attempts to find an alternative.